The Times from Munster, Indiana • 16

fi i in 111 i. jii i iij -11 it. mm i mw 1 i 1 'YJr I Secref of Marital Bliss i To Id By CAROLYN DAILY Family living Writer What is the secret of a successful marriage? Dr. Rex Hurt, a Hammond psychologist who has counseled hundreds of married couples during the last 10 years, has these suggestions to make: "Learn to listen to one another. i-i UfiV i- 't ill f' -lt Xp5 0 -A- ti I- 3 i a Ti iwi Jt having marital difficulties talk to each other while Dr.

Hurt listens. "Be prepared to put in 60 per cent of the effort rather than 50 per cent. Do a little bit more than half of the work involved to establish a marriage. "When you have differences of opinion, talk about them until you resolve them. "Be cautious in giving ultimatums." DR.

HURT, staff counselor at the Christian Counseling Center at First Methodist Church of Hammond, believes the crucial year of a marriage is the year after the first child is born. "Often the additional responsibility brings out weaknesses in the marriage," he said. Thirty-five couples make use of the center's marriage counseling service each year. Only 10 per cent are members of the church. FORTY PER CENT of the couples who see Dr.

Hurt are there because one of (he spouses is attracted to a third party. "This doesn't mean they had an affair," he said. "Infidelity starts out as a symptom and ends up as a cause," he commented. Fifty per cent of the couples have an in-law problem. "In-laws can help quite a bit if they don't try to di HUSBAND AND WIFE into heated arguments.

Dr. Hurt doesn't mind. "It is healthy to raise your voice if you have a good point to make," he said. "You shouldn't yell all the time." Most marriage counseling cases fall into patterns, Dr. Hurt said.

PATTERN ONE: The young couple who has been married only a few months. "They complain about lack of cooperation," Dr. Hurt said. "The wife is not serving meals on time. The husband is staying out with the boys.

They haven't gotten the marriage off the ground yet into a working relationship." PATTERN TWO: The husband and wife in their early 30's. "This is when a man begins to question how successful he is going to be in his career," Dr. Hurt said. "The children are older. He has probably bought a house.

Responsibilities at work and at home weigh heavily on his shoulders. He and his wife will probably start arguing about money." PATTERN THREE: The couple who has been married for several years without being able to communicate. "Sometimes people have resentments or dissatisfactions (hey bold Inward for 15 years or more," Dr. Hurt said. "There are tilings they don't like about their spouses, but they dont talk about it After 15 years they may have a blow-up.

"The wife may say, 'I can't take it any She may counselor stay together, he indicated. "Usually when people come in for counseling, they want to save the marriage," he said. Most of the couples have children. "People who have children are likely to put more energy into putting their relationship on a sounder basis," Dr. Hrt said.

DR. HURT, who also works as an industrial psychologist with a Chicago firm, said that he can see the same patterns in family groups that he sees in work groups. "Whether they are living together or working together, people have to learn how to compromise gracefully," he said. Dr. Hurt noted that the best time to prevent marital trouble is before the marriage takes place.

On a few occasions he has talked to engaged couples who have come to the center for premarital counseling. "A person should look at himself before he gets married and ask himself, 'Am I mature enough to go into a partnership in a job that will be. very demanding on THEN HE should take a good look at the other person, Dr. Hurt said. "He should find someone whose way of life is not too removed from his own." A husband and wife should have common interests and similar economic and educa- DR.

REX HURT, marriage counselor at Hammond First Methodist Church, checks over appointments with Mrs. Robert Perelman, church secretary. 'ft 7i mm B-6 Dec. 6, 1966 THE HAMMOND TDIES Hammond Church Guild Sells 5M0 Cookbooks Wednesday Club file for divorce. The whole thing may come as a surprise to the husband.

He 'didn't know anything was wrong." PATTERN FOUR: The situation where one partner continues growing after the marriage and the other partner doesn't "They grow apart," Dr. Hurt said. "Often they get a divorce." PATTERN FIVE: The husband who is so busy with his -career that he neglects his wife and the wife who is so busy with her club work that she neglects her husband. Dr. Hurt cited the case of a professional man in his 30's and his wife.

The man became so involved in his work that he neglected his wife. To make up for this neglect the wife became interested in club and church work. Then the husband felt his wife was no longer interested in him, so he had an affair. When the wife found out about the affair, the husband defended himself by saying she didn't care about him anyway. THE HUSBAND and wife stopped talking to each other.

The children were affected by the atmosphere at home and school. The couple got back on the right track by seeing a marriage counselor. "They almost loist their marriage by default," Dr. Hurt said. ABOUT 85 per cent of all couples who see a marriage luncheon-meeting in the Wicker Park Clubhouse at noon.

Liberty Camp 8487, RNA, will have a Christmas party at 12:30 p.m. Abbey Chapter 578, OES, will meet in Hammond Masonic Temple at 7:30 p.m. Auxiliary 619 to the Carpenters will meet in Carpenters Mistletoe Season Here During the holiday season, a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of mistletoe. For this season's party rounds, florists suggest that bachelors send special dates a tiny mistletoe ring to hand from a doorway along with the traditional corsage for her gown. The custom of kissing under the mistletoe was started by the goddess Frigga.

Her son was killed by an arrow made of mistletoe. When the gods restored the boy's life, the grateful goddess bestowed kisses to all who stood beneath mistletoe boughs. clxnsup with water $093 Quart 7 Gallon STOP IN AND JEST 111 5907 Calumet Ave. WE 2-1678 HAMMOND I fl IN vr $098 tional backgrounds. A common religion is not necessary, but it is helpful, Dr.

Hurt said. "UsuaUy you don't get acquainted until after you are married," he said. "To get acquainted before you are married you should do a lot of talking about meaningful subjects." RELIEVE FOOT PAINS "She Fitted ly Man" Who Know Through Ex. pernc end Education" SPECIALISTS IN PRESCRIPTION AND ORTHOPEDIC SHOES PHONE I Bkuu ur A4 iiAlfort Troublw WDWKTIIHK CARS With Ul 747 BURNHAM-CAL CITY, lit. (mm ft nmtm Wt featur tftt Tkomoi Orjon Cempltia Lin MiiiicoJ Instruments HAL MORRIS MUSIC MART 9401 Ridga lonsinj 614-4030 TI 4-0100 ffORfALLSYOUR ni NEEDS ar SHOP 7 ii HIGHLAND SpSffl 2706 Highway Ave.

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TAG. rect the outcome of a marriage," Dr. Hurt indicated. "An understanding In-law can help a couple grow up." Drinking and gambling are other common problems. "All marriage counseling problems are problems of immaturity onsomebody's part," Dr.

Hurt said. "People do what they feel like doing rather than what they should do." DR. HURT, who Is married and the father of four children, sees most couples at least three times before their problems are solved. "Frequently they start out talking to me and end up talking to each other," he said. "Then I listen." Sometimes the spouses get MARJORIE BECK Beck-Branstetter Miss Marjorie Beck's engagement to Meredith Branstetter is announced by her parents, Mr.

and Mrs. Roy Beck of Milledgeville, HI. Mr. Branstetter is the son of Mr. and Mrs.

Meredith C. Branstetter of 921 174th Hammond. An alumnus of Hammond High School, he is a senior at Parsons College in Fairfield, Iowa, where he is studying physics. The bride-to-be, a junior majoring in elementary education at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, graduated from Milledgeville High School. Fitting Shots tor Childrtn Spec7afz7ng in Regular end Prescription Footwear DIG A VI 235 Ridg Read Munsttr 1 Si ml c3 i order for 25 cookbooks published by the Women's Guild of Faith United Church of Christ Hammond has pushed total sales to more than 5,000.

Announcement of the order for the Hungarian-American recipe book was made by Machel Rooney at the guild's election meeting. Elected were Mrs. Paul Tired By MARY SUE MILLER Fatige, pallor and a i come to all faces. Even children's faces. The remedy, of course, is relaxation sleep and perhaps a "do nothing" day.

But only babies have the time to let the world go by. The rest of us mortals are pressured by duty. Our re Events Hall in Hammond at 7:30 p.m. East Chicago Emblem Club 202 will meet in the Elks Clubrooms at 8 p.m. East Chicago Mothers Gub will have a Christmas party in the home of Mrs.

Paul Goodus, 1212 Beacon East Chicago, at 8 p.m. Hammond CYA, Criers Club, will meet in All Saints parish hall, Hammond, at 8 p.m. Hammond Chapter 120, WOM, will have a games party in the Moose Home at 8 p.m. Past Noble Grands Club will have a Christmas party in the home of Mrs. Dennis Half-acre, 5440 Tell Hammond, at 8 p.m.

Golden Rod Camp 1657, RNA, will have election of of ficers. ADD 71 and iCOOUNQ loyoctmtisaa i MSTMU mi Fozkos, president; Mrs. Mike Orban, vice president; Mrs. Andrew Horvath, secretary; and Mrs. William Daniels, treasurer.

COMMITTEE chairmen are Mrs. Joseph Almasy, worship; Mrs. Paul Pavelka projects; and Mrs. Louis Biksey, mission stewardship. Mrs.

Albert Shanta and Mrs. Ivan Owen are in charge Face Needs freshments have to be taken in quick, small doses. The most resultful for a jaded face follow: Take off stale make-up with cosmetic remover. Then wash gently with any mild, deliriously fragrant soap and rinse well. FOLD AN ice cube into a A LOVELIER YOU clean, damp washcloth and compress to the face until it chills and firms the skin.

(Never apply ice directly to face.) Time: 10 minutes. Clease the face with a liquid that removes cosmetics and tones the skin at the same time; make not less than two applications, thoroughly tissuing each off. Time: 5 minutes. Ceanse in your accustomed manner and apply a a that improves texture and brings up glow. While it sets lie back down on the floor with feet propped on pillows.

of collecting canned goods for the Christmas basket. Hostesses for Sunday coffees will be Mrs. Charles Behary and Mrs. Zigmund Ondo, Dec. 11; Mrs.

C. Leighton Graf and Mrs. George Stoddard, Dec. 18; Mrs. Ronald Frisk and Mrs.

Gabriel Szilvasy, Jan and Mrs. Clyde Lancaster and Miss Denise Camery, Jan. 15. Rest Time: 20 minutes. WITH LESS than 2 minutes to spare, remove old cosmetics and bathe the skin with a mild astringent lotion: let it partially air-dry, then pat off the excess with tissue.

After any of those treatments, your face will look fresh and take a sparkling make-up. What a boon! To firm and uplift sagging facial muscles and flesh, use my four-way method. It works wonders through corrective exercise, posture, skin care and make-up. Procedures are detailed in the leaflet, "Banish Crepey Throat and Chin." For your copy, write Mary Sue Miller in care of The Hammond Times, enclosing 10c in coin and a large self-addressed stamped envelope. FREEMAN SHOES FOR MEN Frtm $1495 SHOES 2831 Highway Highland Open Evenings 'Til 9 P.M.

WONDAMERE "Mix end Match" SKIRTS SWEATERS SLACKS A Gift for Her far Christmas! 2841 HIGHWAY AVE. HIGHLAND Ope tvnhqi 'VI 9 P.M. Women's Christian Society of St John Lutheran Church, Calumet Gty, will have a luncheon and bazaar in the parish hall at 11 a.m. Hammond Area Newcomers Alumnae Gub will have a Dolls Put On Display Miss Anne Penic was named as a new member at a meeting of Chi Beta Lambda, library sorority for the Calumet Branch Library in East Chicago. Hostess for the semi-annual meeting was Miss Antonia Reyes of East Chicago.

Eight-inch dolls and wardrobes made by members were collected. They will be donated to Mrs. Kenneth Merrill of Hammond for distribution as Christmas gifts at the Fort Wayne State School. They will be displayed at the Calumet Branch Library before being gift-wrapped. Mrs.

R. C. Rubino of Hammond was chairman of the doll project. Miss Dee Williams of East Chicago will be hostess for the April meeting. PERSONALIZED CHRISTMAS CARDS You can have Hallmark Christmas cards custom-Imprinted with your name quickly in our store today.

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